It's not QUITE the final countdown, but it's pretty close. As of today, we're 26 days out from our wedding. Twenty six. There is so much and so little left to do, and I cannot decide if it's overwhelming, exciting, or just is. Most of what we have left is the little stuff: decorating the venue, getting together props for the photo booth, setting up seating arrangements and putting together the favor bags and the centerpieces.
To say that things are a bit surreal is an understatement. I'm less than a month away from being a married woman. It's a title change and a status change, though I'm still processing both. Everything is together, and I'm pretty sure I've reached the "I just don't care" part of planning. If we don't have it together already, we probably aren't going to, and that's okay. What we have is enough. The people coming are who we need to be there. The rest is details and is out of my hands.
We went into planning our wedding with me saying that it didn't matter what the details were, as long as we were married in the end. I wish I could say that was the case throughout the process, that there wasn't anxiety about the process and that I didn't care about the details at all. The reality is, there was anxiety about the process, at least on my part. I often cared more about the details than what the day was intended for: us to be married.
This caused some (very minor) tiffs, fights, whatever you want to call them. I wanted tiers of cake instead of cupcakes, which I originally wanted. I wanted something big, much bigger than our budget would allow. I, in short, fell victim to the wedding industry. This isn't to say that the wedding industry is all bad, just that it can be overwhelming to flip through all of the bridal magazines and see weddings that look like they were perfect. What those magazines don't tell you is that you may forget your shoes when you go to your final dress fitting, or that the bride had a filling crack (true story) three weeks before her wedding.
I eventually came back to my senses and to myself. To the wedding we want, not the wedding the bridal magazines say we should have. We stopped fighting about little things (though our fights only totaled two). I stopped getting anxious about the things that I probably won't remember or care about in the days immediately following my wedding. Our wedding. Our invitations went out and the RSVPs began rolling in almost immediately.
What I realized about the wedding is that all that truly matters at the end of our wedding day is that we are married. That is what we are having this big celebration for: to be wed. We will be surrounded by seventy of our closest friends and family members as we say our vows. There will be tasty food, playlists that were very fun to assemble, and even more fun to listen to in the car while driving to work (and even more fun to have living room dance parties to). There will be love.
Our officiant, who is also a close friend spoke with us over the weekend to confirm a few things about the ceremony. We are working on getting the vows down. For me, at least, the ceremony is the most important part of the day - because in it, we will go from being engaged to being married, to becoming an "us." The party that comes after is to celebrate the union we are entering into in front of our friends and family. As we were talking about wants and needs, he commented that what we are coming together that day to celebrate is love. I agreed at the time, but the more I think about it, the more and more I agree. We are coming together on our wedding day, in twenty-five fast-moving days, to celebrate love. To be joined together in love. For me, that is what will make our wedding part of a long-standing tradition of marriage, and at the same time, uniquely ours.
Picture from our engagement session with the fabulous Sarah Warda Photography