The world, in general, is a pretty easy to get along in space. But it's also a little scary.
I'm afraid of the unknown. Of not fitting in (sometimes I stand out more than I fit in). Of being left out. I'm excited to be a mom. I don't dislike pregnancy (in fact, I kind of like it). But I'm afraid of that whole "getting the baby out" part that is coming in about four months.
Sometimes, I'm afraid of writing the wrong thing here. Of being judged for my words. Or that I'll lose friends over what I might write here, depending on subject matter and opinion.
But I still put myself out there. I still try. I try to fit in. I write. I press 'publish.' And I seek out knowledge.
It all sounds very much like anxiety. But it's not. It's the little fears that get you day to day. The things that make you second guess. That's what it is for me, at least.
And right now? I am working hard on conquering my fear. The little things that hold me back. My podcast of choice lately has been Tiffany Han's Raise Your Hand. Say Yes. And I've heard so many speakers, authors, and creatives on this podcast all talking about getting out there. Doing the work. Overcoming the fear.
So I'm raising my hand. I'm saying yes. I'm working on 100 days of Blogging, though that is shaping up very differently than I originally anticipated. Every other day posts, for example, instead of daily, with the days between being planning, researching, or behind the blog posts.
I'm working on fitting in while standing out. I'm letting criticisms roll away, while getting at the heart of what the intent is behind the critique - is it intended to help with improvement or cut me down? If it's the former I take it at face value. The latter? Set it aside.
As for the fear of labor and birth? For that I'm working on acquiring knowledge. I have at least four months before the baby comes, so that's four months of time I have to learn all I can about labor and delivery. Including an eight week childbirth class that starts this week. I chose Hypnobabies, and I am excited for us to attend our first session and really start getting into the meat of this whole "having a baby" thing.
For me, fear is the unknown. Taking a leap and not knowing what's next. Pressing publish and not knowing if a post will flop. Not having enough knowledge. So I can learn and I can try. I can write and publish, or write and delete. I can learn from my errors. I can step out, stand up, say yes.
I am working on conquering that fear of the unknown. And man, can I just say? It's a powerful, wonderful process. I can't wait to see where I go from here.