Deva by Definition

Vlogging Half Marathon Training: Week Seven

A few Things:

1. I definitely made a shout-out to my sister.

2. I got a couple text messages while making this video, and didn't realize the mic picked up the sound of my phone going off - that is the honking noise you hear twice in the video.

 

 

Half Marathon Training: Week Six

Just a Few things:

1. I definitely put a shout-out to Meghann for her awesome PR at her half marathon this weekend.

2. The post I reference in the video is this one, about how I am an athlete.

3. I sound shaky because I am cold. We keep our house on the chilly side and when filming this video, I was waiting for the space heater to warm up our living room!

Enjoy!

 

Embracing the Fat Day

When talking about self-esteem, there are a few phrases I seem to hear over and over again: “You’re beautiful how you are,” “fat is not a feeling,” or “it’s what’s inside that counts.” These are phrases that are not necessarily false, but don’t truly address the issue of self esteem, or what I really want to talk about: feeling fat.

There have been many a time when I have changed clothes over and over again before finally settling on an outfit because all of my jeans feel tight, or my favorite shirts suddenly feel like they make my tummy look round. Times when I have looked in the mirror at the end of a long day and felt too big for my skin. Times when I have texted a friend “I feel fat today.” And you know what? When my friend replies “ugh, I know – I felt like that the other day!” I feel better.

Why? Because I think it’s perfectly fine to feel fat sometimes, and having a friend affirm that she feels the same way on occasion helps me realize that it is okay to not always feel at home in my skin. It doesn’t mean that I’m fat – or that I think I am overweight. It doesn’t mean that you are fat – nor does it mean that you need to lose weight. Feeling fat doesn’t even really have to mean that I don’t like myself.

When I say “I feel fat,” I am not asking to be told that I am fine how I am, or that I need to be more accepting of my body. I just want to acknowledge that I am not feeling all that into myself – whether it is for a day or for a few days. Whether I need to make a change or whether I need to get more sleep or pull out my frumpy pants, I just want to acknowledge that I feel this way, and that it is okay to feel this way. Sometimes.

I truly believe that by putting all of the fat talk or negative self-talk into a box and labeling it as “off-limits,” we are limiting ourselves by saying “these feelings are not okay to feel,” and that right there? Makes me really sad. What message does that send to our peers, our elders, or those who look up to us – that these feelings are wrong? I don’t think so.

I think that instead of constantly discussing self-acceptance, even on those days that we really don’t like how our favorite jeans feel, or days when we feel less-than, and avoiding discussing feeling “fat,” we are removing opportunities to have a dialogue and to demonstrate that it is okay to not always feel that we are beautiful. That it is okay to WANT to change something to feel better about ourselves. For me, that may mean reaching for some baggy pants today. It also may mean laying off sweets for a couple weeks.

So, the next time that I am having a fat day, or you are having a fat day, remember that it’s okay. We can like ourselves, but we can have off days, too, and that is perfectly fine. Normal, even. Self-esteem doesn’t always have to be perfect – and neither do we. Next time I’m having a “fat day,” I’m totally embracing it. Baggy jeans and all.

Goal-Setting: February

It seems like it was two months ago when I set out to write my goals for January. Amazingly, it was not - January went by slowly, it seems, and now it's time to set out my goals for February. It's a short month (but this year we get that leap day), so my goals may seem small, but I hope they're relatively attainable.

Looking back on my January goals, I'd say I did well with them all. I stuck with my half marathon training plan, missing one run, and rearranging two. Housekeeping was kept up and our house has been kept at "company ready in thirty minutes" since the first weekend in the month. Reading the news once a day became WAY easier when I discovered Zite. Now, I'm moderately informed about what is going on in the world, locally, and in politics.

Goals for February have been hard to determine. Between running, house upkeep, and other things, it seems like I hardly have time to sit down, read a book, or plan things out! So, with that being said, my goals for February are:

Make time to relax. I've been pushing myself to the max the past month or so, and I'm finding at the end of the day, when all I want to do is curl up with The Boy and watch "Rome," that I am finding more and more little tasks to fill my time. When bedtime comes, I've barely had a chance to sit down and decompress. So in February, I am taking time out every night to sit down, read a book, watch TV, or see what is new on the internet.

Get A Library Card. I love to read. So much, in fact, that it doesn't surprise The Boy when I start a book and finish it just a few short hours later. What does surprise The Boy is that we've lived in our house for almost two months, and I still have yet to get a new library card. I'm quickly running out of books in my shelves to read and have made it my goal to get to the library this month, get a card, and check out a nice stack of books. I already can't wait to explore my new library.

Eat More Protein. I know that running for endurance, I need to keep my glycogen stores up, but I also know that for muscle recovery, I need to ensure I am eating enough protein. As I mentioned in my Top Five post about fueling to fend off post-run hunger, I've found that higher-protein snacks keep me satisfied for a longer period of time, especially after a long run. My goal is not to eat a specific amount of protein each day, but to ensure that my meals include a protein along with my carbs, fats, fruits, and veggies. I anticipate a lot of Greek yogurt and eggs in my future.

What about you - what are your goals for February?

Vlogging the Half Marathon: Week Three

Just a few things:

1. I’m a little chatty in this video

2. I really like sleep!

What’s in my Lunchbox

Because I work full-time, I find myself – more often than not – packing my lunch. I’ve learned that many people prep their lunches the night before – to have them ready to grab and go in the morning. While I do this as well, I am also frequently found scrounging up a lunch to pack first thing in the morning. Regardless of whether I prepare my lunch in the morning or evening, I want it to be balanced, quick to pack, and easy to enjoy in the middle of a busy workday.

With all of this in mind, I have gotten brown-bagging it down – at least for me. I have just a few requirements for my lunch, all of which I’ve learned through trial-and-error. I need something that will keep me full, but not weigh me down, and I need to ensure that I pack adequate snacks, as well. That being said, here are my requirements:

Protein. I want my lunch to have protein because in my experience, it helps to keep me fuller, longer. This can be chicken in an enchilada, milk and cheese in potato soup, a yogurt (Greek or regular), cottage cheese, or many other protein sources.

Fat. I include fat in my lunch for the same reason as protein: it keeps me satisfied! Sometimes I get my fat from peanut or almond butter, other times it is cheese or full-fat yogurt. Regardless of the source, I want something in my lunch (or snacks), to hold me over until dinner time.

Produce. I love fresh fruits and veggies, and I aim to get five servings a day. Including some form of fruit and vegetable in my lunch helps me to reach that goal.

Other stuff. I like to round out my meal with other sides or snacks. My preferred snacks are pretzel sticks with hummus, cheese and crackers, granola bars, or yogurt. Sometimes I throw in some chocolate or candy, or stop for a latte on my way into the office.

All of the things I include in my lunch is to help keep me full and alert throughout the work day. By including protein, fat, produce, and extras, I ensure that I am satisfied, and not (always) rummaging through the vending machine for a snack.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that I don’t go out every once in a while, enjoy some McDonald’s, Taco Bell, or Burger King  - I just prefer to pack, and this is just one method of many that I have found works for me.

What about you – do you pack lunch or do you buy? What do you include in your lunchbag?

Pictures and Memories

I was inspired to write this post after reading this post at Then Heather Said. I loved the pictures and memories within the post, and it led me to start thinking about pictures of me from the past several years.

When I entered college, I didn’t have a digital camera. I was a photojournalism student and I shot using film only. Looking through the stacks of the many photos I took at that time, I noticed one thing: because I was the one behind the camera, I have almost no photographs of myself prior to my junior year.

Now, that was only one year of college for me, but it seems odd when I am looking through friends’ facebook feeds and see that their photos go all the way back to their first year of college, whereas mine? Start at junior year. That year, I got a digital camera, which made uploading pictures a lot easier. I also made an effort to spend a little more time in front of the camera. Here are just a few pictures to share, both from college as well as more recently.

The end of Junior year. I was up early that morning to get coffee before starting my shift in the office of my residence hall. I was a Resident Assistant and we were checking students out at the end of the year.

Spending time with my BFF. It was a chilly and rainy night, which made my hair frizzy and curly by the end of the evening.  .

My graduation day. You can’t see them, but I was wearing pointed-toe kitten-heeled shoes. I loved them, but was ready to put on sandals!

Ballpark with The Boy! This was our last game of the regular season last year –after the Reds had clinched the division title.

There are so many more photos on my hard drive and flash drive, as well as memories not captured on film (or digitally). I cherish each and every one of them every time I look back on time with friends and family, and each time I scroll through my photos on my computer. I am amazed at the changes I see in myself since graduation, and will continue to be surprised in the years to come.

What are some of your memories from recent years?

End of Summer?

This weekend was a bit crazy! I kicked it off with a mini girls’ night on Friday, going out with my friend Jessie for some bowling!

Oh yes, it was blacklight bowling! We caught up over a four-hour timespan, playing four games. Jessie and I were always close in score, but she beat me in every game. I came home Friday night wiped out and ready to crawl into bed!

Saturday, the fun continued, and we went to a friend’s house for an end-of-summer cookout of sorts. We were there early, so I was able to chat with my friend E and her fiancé while they got everything ready for us to eat. There was so much yummy food and good beer there, and I enjoyed a beer I’d never had before while we waited for the burgers to cook.

It was light and crisp – one I would enjoy again. I was thrilled when it got dark enough for us to start the firepit – so we could make some s’mores!

The fire kept the bugs away while the group of us sat and talked about everything under the sun – from our pets, to sports, to food, and anything in between. It was a fun night – I loved getting to enjoy one good cookout before the summer officially ends.

Sunday morning got off to an early start – I was meeting Jessie to go to church for a 9/11 memorial service, so I climbed out of bed earlier than I might otherwise, happy that I had the foresight to prepare my breakfast before going to bed last night.

I decided to try my hand at some chia pudding, whisking together chia seeds, milk, honey, and cocoa powder before bed last night, allowing it to sit covered in the fridge until I was ready to eat. It was too thick – almost like gelatin – when I pulled it out of the fridge this morning, so I added a little more milk, topped it with cacao nibs, and dug in, not knowing what to expect.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I liked it – it was like tapioca pudding, almost, but lighter in flavor and with a little more crunch. I loved the chocolatey flavor and the bittersweetness that the cacao nibs added to the whole mix. This was a surprisingly filling breakfast, albeit light, and it definitely held me over until after church and lunch.

The service at church today was both somber and uplifting – it was a 9/11 memorial service that really made me think. I remember that morning as though it were yesterday, and how shocked I was that something so horrible could be happening in a city here. At first, I thought it was a bad movie, but when I realized it wasn’t, I spent the rest of my morning watching the news unfold in shock and awe. It was a day I will never forget.

This weekend was, I think, the start of the end of summer. It was warm enough to spend time outside, but cool enough to have the windows in the house open for most of the day. While I had a busy weekend, it was fun, thoughtful, and good. We got to spend time with friends and to remember. I am eager to see what the rest of this week will bring.

What did you do this weekend?

Do you ever have one of those nights?

You know the ones – where you are tired or getting home late or have a bunch of errands to run or don’t want to cook dinner or one of those nights where all of the above applies?

Well, tonight, I was feeling LAZY and didn’t want to cook dinner. I was hungry and wanted something fast and greasy. Enter:

Arby’s! You see, I realized while I was making my way home from Target tonight that I wanted fast food, and only Arby’s could satisfy that craving. So I stopped and picked up a roast beef sandwich and some onion rings, digging in when I got home.

It. Was. Delicious. I ended up eating all of my sandwich and most of my onion rings before I was full – and I enjoyed every bite.

Sure, it was fast food, and I probably could have cooked something just as quickly at home, but it’s not like I eat it all the time. And for something I don’t eat that often, I knew what I wanted, and that is what I went to get and enjoy.

Besides, every once in a while, a girl just wants some onion rings and a burger doused in barbeque sauce. YUM!

A Push to Train

I am trying to train for a 10k. Trying, I say, because my asthma keeps making me stall out, sputter, and wheeze my way back home. I am working on fixing this, but find that I may have to lower my mileage even more. I don't want injury, but I want to push myself harder than I have every pushed before.

Except I don't have a detailed workout routine, or even a training plan in place. My routine is loose, and involves working out three or four times a week, with three runs each week. I don't schedule specific days for my workouts, though they tend to fall on the same days of the week, simply out of habit, and almost all of my runs are what some runners might consider "junk runs." At this time I am training for distance, and for my next race, I’ll go for speed.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because I need a kick in the butt to run three times a week. I am managing my asthma, but need to be more mindful about using my inhaler before I step out of the door or onto the treadmill for a run. I need to run. I crave it, like I crave chocolate or ice cream or brownies with ice cream, and by not running like I know that I can? I'm setting myself up for failure. I honestly do believe that telling all of you that I need this kick in the pants to run like I've never run before, that I'll do it. Because now? I have accountability - to YOU.

What motivates you to get out the door for a run, and to keep running once you're out there?