Deva by Definition

The Road to the Relay

A year ago, I ran a half marathon on a humid and hot May day. I struggled to finish in three hours, and didn't come close to making my time goal. Crazily enough, I thought I might like to run the very same half marathon again this year - making training, nutrition, speedwork, and sleep priorities. All of this would be done while planning my wedding, and the race? Twenty days before my wedding. Friends both encouraged me and called me crazy for wanting to set aside twelve weeks for training, complete with long runs, cross-training, and, if possible, speed work.

Internally, though, I was hemming and hawing. Last year I registered for the half marathon in November. Of 2011. For the 2012 race. I was excited, right up until I got achy, came dangerously close to having a stress fracture, and got sick enough to have to miss a full week of training. I was waiting to register for the half marathon, until a friend said she'd run it with me. Then, a conversation on a trip home from the grocery store happened, and The Boy said he would run in the relay with me, if we could get a team together. In this, an idea and a relay team was born. The Boy, me, and two of my bridesmaids would run the relay in the Flying Pig, and we would do our hardest to finish in under 4:45.

From the get-go 

The Boy, having only run up to 5k distance before, wanted a training plan that would be doable for him. Me, wanting to support him in his efforts, agreed to do the same plan, and we opted for Hal Higdon's novice 15k training plan to get us going. It combined three days of cross-training with three days of running, was balanced, and looked to be the best plan for us. I hadn't run more than a 10k since the RedLegs 10k in June of last year, and I was worried about stamina. After our training fell apart at the end of last year's training cycle, I wanted something I would stay committed to. This plan was easy to commit to, broke down nicely, and kept our evenings full of exercise.

Not surprisingly, we both lost a little weight training. Our eating habits straightened up - more fruits and veggies, fewer sweets, and more water were key to keeping us energized for our daily workouts. We had some struggles in the beginning - our long runs were hard, when previously for me, four and five miles had been easy. Two new pairs of shoes (one for me and one for him) later, we were out and running easily and comfortably.

From the beginning, training was easy. I am a person who commits easily to a goal and will do everything I can healthily do to accomplish my goals. For this, it was to hopefully finish running just under eight miles in about ninety minutes. After running the 7k in September, I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't want to push myself to injury. I knew that the other folks on our team were working hard to accomplish their goals, and being part of a team was an even bigger motivator than I could ever had thought. None of us wanted to be a weak link, and we were all having fun training up to reach our pace goals.

Dealing with Injury

Right up to our eight-week mark, things were looking good. Our training plan was ten weeks long, with the final week ending in the race. Week eight was a seven-miler, and we set out in the late afternoon after my bachelorette party weekend ended, planning to go strong. Four miles in, The Boy started having some severe IT band pain. What started out as a strong and easy run ended in a slow walk home. This wasn't anyone's fault, but we worried that this meant bad things come race day. A week later, we had the same issue when trying to run seven miles again. This time, we stopped at our local running shop and asked for advice. They were able to offer concrete examples for stretches to do, and we decided that all we could do was our best to get The Boy's leg healed enough to run or walk his leg of the race. My IT band was acting up at this point in time, so rather than push it, we both decided to take a good long week off from running.

Making it to race weekend

After a week off from running (well, I decided to run three miles one evening as a way to relax), we both felt strong going into race weekend. Saturday we were up earlier than we might otherwise be, to finish straightening up the house for guests and to be ready to go to the race Expo. As soon as our friends arrived, we headed into downtown and the Duke center to pick up our packets, explore what there was to get at the expo, and figure out our race-day strategy.

At the expo, the energy was incredible. Erica stopped to buy a Boston Strong tee-shirt while The Boy and I explored the Asics booth. I looked for a 13.1 finisher's hat and browsed the other booths. We looked at other races, the corral maps and relay exchange maps, all while discussing the best means of carrying and passing our timing chip - which was the relay baton, so to speak. None of us have ever run a relay before, so this was all new to us. On an impulse, I bought an ArmPocket at one of the expo booths - My iPhone's armband was no longer any good, and we all wanted to carry our phones to keep in touch and to be able to find one another quickly at the end of the race. It was another way to keep track of each other while running, so we could be ready at the relay points.

Saturday night we made our way back home, with plans to meet up by 4:30 the next morning to be on buses on time. After enjoying a pasta and garlic bread dinner, we all headed to bed early, bellies full, adrenaline starting to race, ready to get our run on Sunday morning. My night was pretty sleepless, and when I woke up on Sunday morning after only getting two hours of sleep, I worried if I would be able to finish.

To be continued...

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Is it the Final Countdown?

It's not QUITE the final countdown, but it's pretty close. As of today, we're 26 days out from our wedding. Twenty six. There is so much and so little left to do, and I cannot decide if it's overwhelming, exciting, or just is. Most of what we have left is the little stuff: decorating the venue, getting together props for the photo booth, setting up seating arrangements and putting together the favor bags and the centerpieces.

To say that things are a bit surreal is an understatement. I'm less than a month away from being a married woman. It's a title change and a status change, though I'm still processing both. Everything is together, and I'm pretty sure I've reached the "I just don't care" part of planning. If we don't have it together already, we probably aren't going to, and that's okay. What we have is enough. The people coming are who we need to be there. The rest is details and is out of my hands.

We went into planning our wedding with me saying that it didn't matter what the details were, as long as we were married in the end. I wish I could say that was the case throughout the process, that there wasn't anxiety about the process and that I didn't care about the details at all. The reality is, there was anxiety about the process, at least on my part. I often cared more about the details than what the day was intended for: us to be married.

This caused some (very minor) tiffs, fights, whatever you want to call them. I wanted tiers of cake instead of cupcakes, which I originally wanted. I wanted something big, much bigger than our budget would allow. I, in short, fell victim to the wedding industry. This isn't to say that the wedding industry is all bad, just that it can be overwhelming to flip through all of the bridal magazines and see weddings that look like they were perfect. What those magazines don't tell you is that you may forget your shoes when you go to your final dress fitting, or that the bride had a filling crack (true story) three weeks before her wedding.

I eventually came back to my senses and to myself. To the wedding we want, not the wedding the bridal magazines say we should have. We stopped fighting about little things (though our fights only totaled two). I stopped getting anxious about the things that I probably won't remember or care about in the days immediately following my wedding. Our wedding. Our invitations went out and the RSVPs began rolling in almost immediately.

What I realized about the wedding is that all that truly matters at the end of our wedding day is that we are married. That is what we are having this big celebration for: to be wed. We will be surrounded by seventy of our closest friends and family members as we say our vows. There will be tasty food, playlists that were very fun to assemble, and even more fun to listen to in the car while driving to work (and even more fun to have living room dance parties to). There will be love.

Our officiant, who is also a close friend spoke with us over the weekend to confirm a few things about the ceremony. We are working on getting the vows down. For me, at least, the ceremony is the most important part of the day - because in it, we will go from being engaged to being married, to becoming an "us." The party that comes after is to celebrate the union we are entering into in front of our friends and family. As we were talking about wants and needs, he commented that what we are coming together that day to celebrate is love. I agreed at the time, but the more I think about it, the more and more I agree. We are coming together on our wedding day, in twenty-five fast-moving days, to celebrate love. To be joined together in love. For me, that is what will make our wedding part of a long-standing tradition of marriage, and at the same time, uniquely ours.

Picture from our engagement session with the fabulous Sarah Warda Photography

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Being Random

So, in about a month. Actually one month and one day, I'll be getting ready to get married. Which means we have a lot going on. There is a good deal of last-minute details to get together for the wedding: wrapping up the dance-floor playlists (we are self-djing our wedding), getting centerpieces together, starting seating charts (assigned tables, not seats), and finishing up day-of timelines.

All of this means that I'm feeling things are a bit frantic. In the coming weeks we have The Boy's bachelor party (my bachelorette was over the weekend), a party to celebrate a friend's wedding, and the relay, in addition to our normal, every-day stuff.

While I have some bigger posts in the works, and more thoughts about weddings, getting married, and being a wife, today, I just wanted to share a few things I am loving lately.

1. Baseball. If you've been reading this blog for a while, it's no secret that I am a baseball fan (albeit a new one). Lately I've been hard-pressed to be found anywhere other than watching televised Reds games when the sun goes down, and with the many extra-innings games happening lately? It's been fun! We went to our first game of the year Saturday, had great seats and got to see bonus baseball. It was a great kick-off to the upcoming month.

2. Philosophy's Cherry On Top Lip Gloss. I got this as a gift from my best friend before my party on Saturday and already love it. It's lightly tinted, smooth, and lasts a LONG time. It reminds me of when I was in college and obsessed with Juicy Tubes. The tint is just enough to make me look "finished" when I wear makeup, but isn't over-the-top. Bonus: it smells like maraschino cherries.

3. Herbal Essences Shampoo. I loved it when I went to buy a new bottle of shampoo and I found the old style of Herbal Essences on the shelf. I immediately bought a bottle. I used the herbal-scented shampoo right up until they stopped selling it, and then switched to the new formulas. The green-capped bottle brought back a lot of nostalgia for me (it's what I used from age ten on), and I love how it makes my hair look and feel.

4. This post about love and fear on A Practical Wedding. This post I love for many reasons. First, it's written by one of my favorite bloggers, and second, it applies to so much in my life. I deal a lot with anxiety, and reframing how I think about what scares me is so important to my relationship.

5. Fun Nail Polish. I am still loving doing my nails in fun colors. Lately I have been very into blue on my fingers, as well as my favorite teal polish from last summer. I'm starting to think about what my wedding-day nails will be and I can't make up my mind: I want something subtle but fun. I know my toenails will be neutral, but fingernails? I have no idea!

What are you into lately?

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Empowerment Really Isn't a Commodity

The most recent Dove Real Beauty Campaign short has spawned a lot of thought and discussion. A recent activity hailed as one for empowering women spawned a few online discussions, but nothing like the Real Beauty Campaign. As someone who often sees herself differently than others, I find the idea that body dysmorphism is so prevalent to be fascinating. At the same time, I wonder who is causing this prevalence, and is it really something we are doing to ourselves? I also want to know how this is empowering to women (and this is really the point I'm getting at)

Kate at Eat the Damn Cake made just this point, bringing up how as women, we are taught to see our bodies as less than. Think about the number of times that we get into a conversation with friends only to start talking about our flaws - physical and otherwise. How many times have I griped to a friend that I can't be petite, my stomach sticks out? How many times have I told friends "you are not!" when they claim to be overweight, or to have unattractive body parts? It's something ingrained in our culture, and I don't know how we can get out of it.

This has led me to start to question a lot about what we, as women, are told and sold. I recently reread The Beauty Myth, which is a fascinating read and discusses a lot that can be related to this campaign (though the book is not about this specifically). I will admit: the campaign has spawned a lot of conversation, which is probably what it set out to do (in addition to marketing beauty and self-care products). The combination of this particular advertising campaign and my reading of The Beauty Myth has made me stand up and take notice of what is marketed to women, how, and sometimes, why.

Thinking about it, as women, we are sold many products: clothes, shoes, shampoos, fragrances, and makeup. Much of this is sold under the guise of "empowerment." It's Empowering to wear makeup. It's Empowering to be able to do what you want with your hair. It's Empowering to workout in a tank top/sports bra/outside. While the messages in these advertisements aren't implicitly or even explicitly about empowering women through products, the way we talk about these products seems to make it so. Makeup is sold to enhance our natural beauty and hide our flaws. Shampoo and hair styling products are sold to make our hair soft, clean, beautiful, attractive. Clothing trends change from season to season, and the definition of what's inappropriate is different every year.

When I see a message pertainin to empowering women, I often wonder what the catch is and what is it I am being sold. It's almost as though female empowerment has become a commodity in and of itself. Recently, a day was held to encourage women to work out in their sports bras as a way to empower them to not feel self-conscious of their bodies or of working out without full coverage. This made me stand up and take notice, and a conversation in the comments regarding the day on Rachel's blog made me stop to think about how this was another way women are being told what is empowering to us and empowering us as women to stand up, be noticed, and take action.

Empowerment is tricky, however. Like having it all, what empowers each of us individually and as a group is different. While I do run in my sports bra and shorts, it's a risky move for me: I sunburn very easily. If I miss just one spot with sunscreen, you can bet I'll feel it that night and the next day (this is also why you will almost never see me sans a hat at the ballpark. Scalp burns suck). Is it empowering for me? I don't know. During the half marathon last year, I ran 10 miles in just my sports bra and shorts. I didn't feel empowered - I was another body in a sea of thousands. I was hot and wanted to cool down. It may have been empowering for another woman, however. It's not for me to say.

As an historically marginalized group, however, women's empowerment is something that still needs to be explored and still needs to happen. Empowerment leads to change from within. Having the ability to stand up and get things done is a result of being empowered to do so. Women's empowerment can lead to economic and social growth, as more women are moving into upper-level positions across the country. This doesn't mean that everything is fixed, that we are all empowered, though, there are still changes to take place. Each small step leads to another, and another, until something big is accomplished.

For me, the idea of empowerment is sticky and it's very much like the idea of having it all. Empowerment is important because it leads to change, which can happen on an individual or group level. While not all things intended to offer power and change do so for all people, what they do offer is another equalizer, to bring women up in this world, closer to equality with men. Activities designed to offer empowerment bring women together and help us band together in support of one another while our voices are amplified. By becoming empowered, we are heard and changes happen. Empowerment is not a commodity. It cannot be bought and sold, but it must be supported through action, thoughts, and a willingness to enact change.

These Ties that Bind

We're five weeks from our wedding. Five. I really cannot believe it. Last year at this time when asked (or told), I would insist that there was no way that a fourteen-month-long engagement would fly by. Unsurprisingly now, it has.

That being said, I've been trying not to muse too much about the finality of marriage. Or about what I think comes after we say "I do." I really don't know if or how our relationship will change. We have been together very nearly seven years. There's not much more to our relationship than what is already there. I am sure that sounds shallow. What I mean, though, is that neither of us can see if or how our relationship with one another will change after the wedding. I'll have another piece of jewelry to wear. He will have a ring. We will share a last name.

Those are all little changes. However, when I think about how I perceive post-marriage me to pre-marriage, I realize that our relationship may change, imperceptibly so. I've noticed that the perception around our relationship has already changed, since I got the ring on my finger. I sometimes worry about losing my identity as I move into the role of "married person."

Even with that, though, we have friends who have thought of us as married well before we put the down payment in for our house. I can count on both hand the number of times we've been introduced as "Deva and her Husband," which is surreal when it happens. I imagine it will be more surreal after the wedding. When we tell people we aren't married yet, we get looks of surprised and told we act married already - whatever that means. It's a lot for a girl to take in.

When I think about it all, though, my perception of post-marriage me is what matters to me, in this moment (or I wouldn't be writing this post). You see, without giving away too much about our ceremony, within our vows we talk about joining our lives together. This is where my headspace gets a little weird. You see, in my head, we are together but separate, as we will be after the wedding. We are together, a unit, but we maintain our indivuality. However, I often catch myself thinking of us as in two separate boxes in the same room. In the sense that we are together, but not 100% a unit. We are a unit requiring assembly.

In that vein, I should probably explain that I think in narratives and pictures. I have a photographic memory, and often my thoughts are images, scenes, or pictures with an overlying narrative. It seems flighty, but it's not. When I think logically, it's on a timeline, numbers I can see clearly in my head as I do math, I can visualize dimension easily. So when I say that we are a unit requiring assembly, I mean just that.

Currently, we are a united front. A unit. We often come as a boxed set: me with him, him with me. At the same time, we are separate parts. We have our separate interests, as well as those that are shared. The same can be said for ambitions, dreams for the future, and our plans for after we are married. We have been together long enough that we can anticipate each other's needs. He can tell when I am getting overwhelmed, need a cup of coffee, or want a nap. I can tell the same, and when he wants to go for a walk because he is antsy.

We've been together long enough that in a way, the marriage is a formality, a public declaration of our plan to be together forever. Saying out loud that I am his, he is mine, we are each others. Yes, we are individuals, with individual personalities, likes, dislikes, goals, wants, and needs. We are also a unit, with a unifying series of goals. In my head, our marriage is when we publicly state that we are the ties that bind us together. That we are now as much a unit as we are individual. When we tell the world that we have chosen each other in our marriage, and we are commited to making it work.

These ties, they bind and hold us together. Our individual cares as well as our shared ones. Without our individuality we wouldn't be together - we wouldn't work. We need our differences as much as our similarities. As we move forward on this journey together, those ties that bind, that hold us together, are the ones I love the most. While I cannot speculate much on our relationship after the wedding, I can say that as close as we were before the engagement, we are closer now, and I can only imagine will grow closer and closer through the years, and all the struggles, triumphs, and changes they will bring.

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What exactly is Happily Ever After, anyway?

When I was a small child, I liked the idea of Happily Ever After. I have a collection of Fairy Tales I received from my great-grandmother, and I would pore over it for hours, reading stories of dancing princesses, Cinderella, Rumplestiltzken, and many more. While some of the fairy tales ended in ever after, others did not. The ones that ended with happy ever after often were the ones where a girl would find a prince, they would get married, and then the story ended, leaving what came after to the imagination of the reader.

At that time, I couldn’t really fathom what that meant. Were they always happy? Did they argue? Did the princess always wear a gown and the prince a suit? What made up happily ever after. Now, as an adult, I can say that I believe in happiness and I believe in it for ever and after. I just don’t think of it in black-and-white like I did as a girl. Growing up, I’ve realized that the concept of happily ever after is a good one, but has its flaws. This is part of what makes it work so well. What makes the concept even more interesting, is like the idea of having it all, every person has their own idea of what will make them happy in the long term. In the fairy tales it was a peasant girl (or a girl who thought she was a peasant) finding her prince and getting married.

For some people, happy ever after does involve getting married. Finding one person you hope to spend the rest of your life with may be part of it for others. Like the concept of Having it All, it's person-specific. My happy ever after involves a husband and a child or two, along with my career, our home, and lots of conversations about things we both find interesting. Also, baseball. My friends' ever afters may involve that, or not. I have friends who don't desire to be married, who don't want kids, and who want to travel the country instead of settling down. This isn't wrong at all - it's what they want and what will make them happy .

Of course, the stories also exclude the idea that things aren't always happy and perfect. They don't talk about laundry or cooking, morning breath or bed head. Those are things that are, again, left to the reader's imagination (or not). It seems like living happily ever after starts with marriage, but we have to imagine what happens after. Do they have kids? Do they ever argue? We don't know. As a child I thought that after the Disney Cinderella ended that she would want to get out of her ballgown and into an equally pretty dress and maybe not glass slippers (how do you walk in those? I am seriously curious!), but something to run around and play in.

One thing to consider is that the relationship aspect of many of these tales are not crucial to the plot. Please keep in mind though, that I'm thinking of the traditional fairy tales and possibly the Disney takes on them. I'm not really thinking of the more modern stories. When watching my favorite movies from childhood, I've noticed that many of the women are cast-out princesses (or in Ariel's case, a rebellious princess), whether for safety or jealousy's sake. They are hoping for rescue by a Prince, or stumbled upon by a man in the forest, and then they seem to pine for him. What I have always loved about the story Beauty and the Beast is that in the incarnations I have seen and read, she falls in love with his personality and they have a relationship, not something imaginary. The same goes with the movie Ever After - we see the relationship-building taking place.

In the films and stories where the ladies pine and then find their prince and get married, I've always been curious about what comes after. Love at first sight, indeed, but it feels to me like there's so much missing. That, for me, is where happily ever after begins, in the context of partnership: the relationship. Before making the decision to stay with someone for the rest of our lives, we spend time building the relationship. For some of us, that relationship is built over many years, for others, it is a shorter process.

Within the relationship-building, we learn what I believe many of those Fairy-Tale Princesses have not: the nitty-gritty. We learn our partner's habits, likes, and dislikes. Their favorite and least favorite chores and what they can and cannot cook. And we learn their personalities, likes, dislikes, how they are when having a bad day (and subsequently, how we are when they have a bad day), and how they help us after a bad day. We share good days and bad, triumphs and defeats, and I think that's where fairy tales become romantic comedies.

You see, in all of the sharing, growing, arguing, fretting, and little moments, that's where I think we find our happily ever after. That can be sharing and growing as a person, with someone or without. Unlike a romantic comedy, we laugh at our mishaps later (if at all), but like those same movies, we work to build relationships with who and what is important in our lives. That can be a person, a pet, a hobby - anything that contributes to our long-term happiness. Is this happily ever after? For me, the relationship-building is totally that, but for someone else happily ever after could be something entirely different. Whatever that is, I hope it is something we all can achieve, again and again.

What do you think, what is happily ever after?

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Weekend Recap: April 5-7, 2013

This weekend was a whirlwind of one and I am still recovering from how busy we were and have been! We took a long weekend to go home to wrap up a LOT of wedding planning details! In the midst of all of the craziness, we got to bring the cat home from the vet, and because he is caught in an e-collar for another week, decided that instead of boarding him, we would take him with us. He slept the majority of the trip home and back, which was surprising! Normally he hates the car, but he didn't seem to mind once we got out on the road.

Friday was a crazy busy wedding-planning-filled day. I ended up having my hair trial and last dress fitting back-to-back. Everything worked out great! I had a blast at my hair trial while The Boy sat and watched Dorian. After showing the stylist my inspiration pictures, which included some from Anne's wedding hair-do, she got to work creating something full of braids and twists. We plan to incorporate my something borrowed, which is a strand of my grandmother's pearls, and my gorgeous hairpiece in when I go the morning of the wedding. I loved how the hair style turned out and cannot wait to dance the night away on our wedding day!

Straight away after the hair trial, it was time for my dress fitting. Fortunately the salon and the dress shop are walking distance from one another! I was so excited to see how my dress fit after having all of the alterations done. I had some staves trimmed, cups sewn in, a bustle added, and had the dress hemmed. The hemming took off so much fabric! My height means that even with my 4.25 inch-high heels the dress was still about 4 inches too long! I was eager to see how the dress fit in length and was thrilled when everything fit perfectly! The alterations were done amazingly well - you can't even tell that it was altered at all! I love knowing that everything is all set for my dress and cannot wait to share it with all of you!

Of course, our primary reason for going home Friday and taking a long weekend was because we needed to get a Very Important Document - one we couldn't get on a Saturday or Sunday. After making several phone calls and getting together all of the necessary information, we headed down to the courthouse to get our marriage license! The process for obtaining it was really simple, and after answering just a few questions and signing a couple documents, we had our license to marry in our hands! It was definitely an exciting feeling when we left with the paperwork at hand, ready to hand to our officiant the day of our wedding.

That being said, Friday was a fairly packed day. Once we had everything squared away, we spent the rest of our evening visiting with The Boy's parents, watching some TV, and catching up on some reading. We discussed what we needed to do Saturday before heading back to Cincinnati and what planning-related tasks would remain once we headed home. Fortunately, we have a lot of support both in our hometowns and Cincinnati, so everything is coming together very smoothly. 

Saturday was less packed, but not any less busy. We had to meet with the caterer to get our order started for food, I wanted to meet with our hotel to confirm a few things about the block of rooms we have set aside, and The Boy needed to go with his groomsmen so they could start the process of getting their slacks hemmed. With all of that taken care of, we started our journey back home, eager to see our other cats and to prepare for our low-key Sunday.

Sunday was the easiest day of our weekend - we had no plans beyond a six-mile run on our agenda. Knowing we would need to care for all of the cats and ensure that Dorian was doing well in his e-collar, we got up early, mapped our run out, fueled up, and headed out for a slow six miles. We've been working hard to maintain a slow speed for our long runs, to ensure that we can finish them without coming away exhausted. Last week we set out far too fast and wore ourselves out before we were halfway done. This week, we were determined not to make the same error. We averaged an 11:20 pace for our six-miler, but we finished strong. The Boy set a new PDR for the run, and is now really excited for his leg of the relay. 

The rest of our weekend was spent resting, catching up on some blogs and laundry, and playing with the cats. We caught up on a few TV shows we have been following through Netflix, and I started a new book: Queen Bees and Wannabes. Surprisingly one I haven't read. I'm excited to read the book that inspired the Mean Girls movie, and I'm eager to see what this week brings.

What did you get into this weekend?

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Sometimes, it's the people that make it better

I struggle to find silver linings in situations. It's not that I'm a pessimist - I tend to be pretty optimistic. I just deal with a lot of anxiety, which leads me to hope that I am being optimistic and realistic while trying not to hyperventilate about decisions and issues - small and big. I hyperventilated the day we dipped into our savings for our honeymoon. When things don't go as planned I struggle to see how everything can happen for a reason-  a statement that isn't very reassuring to me.

Looking back on the past twelve months of my 14-month-long engagement, I see a lot of positives, but I also see negatives, the bad stuff, the stuff that I remember and cringe. It's hard to remember that everything is happening for a reason when every good thing seems to be followed by something that makes me want to tear my hair out. One month after we got engaged we had to drop one of the cats at the emergency vet because he was ill. The good thing? We caught it early. The not-so-good thing? He was sick enough to require emergency veterinary care. Any time any of our pets are sick I worry - it's what I do. He came home a few days later and crashed for a long nap in the guest room, happy to be home, and we were happy to have him back.

Then we had a few good months. Lots of ball games. A cat who was well and a hotter-than-normal summer. Of course, the minute I thought that things were going too smoothly was the minute I was proved right. I was told more than once that everything happens for a reason the day I emailed my bridesmaids, groomsmen, and family members to let them know we had made the hard decision to cancel with our original wedding venue. It was a decision made after a lot of teary discussions that went late into the night. We went into our new venue search with open eyes and a lot of creativity, hoping that finding something would be simple. Seven months before our wedding, I was struggling with our decision to get married over a holiday weekend, but there was hope.

It was my future-mother-in-law who found our venue. My fiance who grinned as I squealed about it in the car. My friends who applauded our decision-making and our luck. I could sigh a sigh of relief. I thought at that time that we were done with the struggling to make it work, so during a recent weekend, when our cat started showing signs of being ill, I put on a brave face. We would make it work, regardless of what we needed to do. That Monday, when I walked into the vet's office with a cold, runny nose, pounding sinus headache, and a carrier holding a feisty, yowling cat, I thought it would be okay - something he ate, maybe. An hour later, wide-eyed with surprise, I walked out of the vet's office without a cat and with a surgery estimate. I sat in my car and cried, even as I knew it was going to be okay, I wanted to be told that it would be fine. I wanted a hug. I called my fiance, texted friends and my mom, and made my way home, feeling a little worse for the wear, but knowing our cat was in excellent hands.

This time, I could see the silver lining: the surgery means he very more than likely won't get sick like this again, and while we'll still fret about him, it will be less. Now, as our cat is recovering from his surgery, and I am slowly getting over my cold (my nose will. not. stop. running.).  I am once again sighing with relief. I am realizing that for all the bad and all the struggle, there is a lot of good. I have friends who texted and emailed me to ask after the cat, my fiance, and me. People who have asked what they can do to help until the sutures are out, a time during which our cat will be wearing a big plastic collar. The show of love we've experienced is tremendous, and even as I've struggled to keep it together, I've felt uplifted by those around me.

The support we've received has made me look back at the past year with a different point of view. As I reminisce about all of our planning, all of our struggles and triumphs, the thing that stands out to me the most in my memories are the people. Our friends and family who made me smile and laugh when I needed it. The ones who helped when necessary, who listened when I needed to talk, and my friends who reminded me that my fiance and I are the ones running this show - anything wedding-related and beyond is our choice. The people have made the struggles easier and the good times even better. Without my people - OUR people, I don't know where we would be today, or how we would have gotten all of this done. Without love, help, and support I would flounder. I guess, sometimes, what they say is true: all you need is love.

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Weekend Recap: Easter 2013

It's April Fools' Day and I'm not feeling much the Fool. I am sick and home for the day as a result (nothing like a simultaneously stuffed up and runny nose with pounding headache to start the week off, eh?). However, this weekend was a good one: relaxing and busy, without being overwhelming.

Saturday, I ran 5 miles for the first time since last fall, and while it didn't fell great, it wasn't awful. We got it done, and The Boy has a new PDR (and new, BRIGHT NEON YELLOW shoes) to start off the sixth week of relay training. They go nicely with my black, pink, and green shoes, and are too bright to misplace (hopefully). 

I also had the pleasure of spending Saturday evening at Erica's with several friends for a fun girls' night. We had chips and salsa, mini snickers cheesecakes, gluten-free cookies, and margaritas. All were enjoyed while watching Magic Mike. Our fun movie night chased away Erica's husband, who spent the time we giggled over the movie giving their dogs baths and leaving us be.

Sunday was relatively relaxing. I was awakened by a cat who wanted to cuddle, and when I realized I had plenty of time to get dressed and head to church, I did just that, throwing on a blue and white tiered skirt, white tee and jacket. The service was PACKED, which is exactly what I would expect for Easter, and it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed getting an opportunity to catch up with my small group leader at the start of service and sang my heart out. The message in the sermon left me uplifted, and by the time I headed home, it was with a happy heart, ready to take on the rest of the day.

Sunday afternoon, rather than stay in, The Boy and I decided we would take a trip outdoors to enjoy the beautiful warm, spring-like (FINALLY) weather we had going on. We took a trek into downtown and Fountain Square to get some Graeter's ice cream and to see if the Budweiser Clydesdales were still in the area. Sadly, they were no longer at the square, but we did enjoy some amazing ice cream and visuals as we stretched our legs.

Our walk back included a visit to the ballpark, where they were testing out the sound system in preparation for today (Opening Day). We were excited to see all of the improvements made to the ballpark in the off season and are counting the days to our first trip over to the stadium to see the 2013 Reds play (including the new centerfielder, Choo!). 

All in all, it was a good and relaxing weekend, so it was a big bummer to wake up this morning feeling a bit like I'd been taken out by a steamroller. I hope tomorrow things get better. For now, it's time to sip more tea and curl up with another book. 

How was your weekend?

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Wait, it's Thursday?

This week has flown by, and on Wednesday night, prompted me to blurt out to The Boy “the way this week has been, I wonder how wedding week will feel – I feel like it’s almost the weekend!” In a sense, I was right – it’s already Thursday and I do not know where this week went!

Part of this week moving so quickly is we have been very busy – and I have been go-go-go from when I get up until sometime after dinner. Wednesday I spent almost an hour at Starbucks, catching up on blogs on my iPhone, because a surprise snowstorm got me up and out of the house an hour early. I appreciated that hour, watching the hustle and bustle of the coffee shop as the morning stretched on.

I loved, as I sat at the bar and watched the baristas work, the sleek look of their espresso maker. I missed the sound and the rapid-fire in and out of customers I witnessed every morning I visited my favorite coffee shop while still in college, and it was nice to be able to sit and relive those memories yesterday morning.

Of course, that wasn’t the only thing I captured a photo of in the past few crazy busy days. In addition to drinking a lot of coffee, I have been indulging in some hot, sweet green tea at night before bed (which I realized last night may be a small contributor to my burst of bedtime energy every night). I love the ritual of making the tea – measuring out the loose-leaf mixture of rosehips, raspberry leaf, and green tea leaves into the tea ball, pouring hot water over it in my mug, and letting it steep just long enough to make it delicious.

It’s a soothing ritual, and I love drinking the tea when it is finished a few short minutes later, stirring in honey and enjoying the warmth and the mild, sweet flavor. At the end of a busy day, it’s a great way to finish unwinding.

This week has been busy, and it will probably get busier. I can’t wait to see what’s coming up!

Has this week been flying by for anyone else?

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