Deva by Definition

Let's Get Our Run On: The Relay

When we last left off, I was talking about my sleepless night before the race. After sleeping a mere two hours before the race, I woke up very sleepy and very unsure of my ability to run. We had a four am wake-up to be at our buses no later than six. We had about a mile to walk to get to the buses and wanted to allow plenty of time to get there and get situated. If any of us missed our final bus, we were in big trouble.

After suiting up, downing some breakfast, and gathering up our exchange-point bags, we set out to our buses. Sheena made her way to the starting line, and The Boy and I stood and chatted for a few minutes after Erica left for her starting point, and then we split up, got on our buses, and went our respective ways. I knew that we would have a while to wait - I was the third leg and he was fourth, so I settled in at the exchange point to trouble shoot my Garmin and check the weather. Rain was in the forecast and I wanted to see how long we had before getting soaked.

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Not long after reaching my exchange point, the race began, and the people around me and I started talking about the leader, who was averaging around a five-minute-mile pace. We expected to see him right around when I expected Sheena to reach Erica at the first exchange point, so we were eagerly following updates on the leaders from Twitter, Facebook, and various local news sources. I ate a few orange slices, not wanting to overwhelm my stomach (I do not have an iron stomach and before runs can typically only tolerate some jelly beans or gu), but knowing I had about two hours from race start until my leg would take off.

Not long after we saw the leader pass us by, I got a text from Sheena. Erica had reached her exchange point and was on her way. It was chilly and humid, and I was texting The Boy about the possibility of running in my fleece hoodie, knowing very well that in the humidity this would be a bad idea. The excitement in the crowd around me was palpable, as the first relay runner came in not long after the first marathon runner reached our exchange point. Every runner was announced by bib number, and the excitement as timing chips were passed from runner to runner was great. I was grinning, cheering people on, and eagerly awaiting Erica's arrival. I couldn't wait to be off and running through Mt. Lookout and Mariemont.

When I thought Erica was about a half an hour out, I started getting ready - situating myself in my mini pigpen (which were ordered by bib numbers). I did a lot of jogging in place to warm up, stuffed my hoodie into our exchange-point bag, and had some gu. My exchange point was right at mile twelve of the marathon, so when Erica texted me from mile eleven, I was able to tell her exactly where I would be, and I immediately kept my eyes peeled, scanning the massive crowds of runners for her. Not long after, I saw her running toward me in the distance. Rather than wait for the announcers to let me know she was here, I started waving - and she waved back. We both were grinning ear-to-ear - we were almost halfway done!

Before I knew it, I was being passed the timing chip. I handed over the exchange bag and took off at a 10:30 pace, knowing based on our training that I could only sustain at that pace for so long. I ran into Hyde Park down a very long hill - misleading, as I knew my portion of the course was both long and hilly, though the elevation chart didn't look it. My first mile went by quickly, and I was shocked when I reached the first water station and timing clock at mile thirteen just over ten minutes after I left.

The next few miles went quickly. I had no plans to stop for water or gatorade until I was about three miles into my seven-miler. The humidity was making me very warm, and I almost regretted my choice of a long-sleeved tech tee and capris for the run. The course itself was gorgeous, and since I love running hills, I really enjoyed the ups-and-downs my part of the relay took me through.

Around my fifth mile, I developed a sharp stomach cramp. I was also in the heart of Mariemont, where countless people had come out to cheer the marathoners on as they ran through the square. The motivation was fantastic, and I knew that I didn't want to walk - I wanted to do my best and didn't want to let my team mates down. I did my best to run through it, but struggled, and ended up pausing and walking through the next two water stops, in hope that a few sips of gatorade would help. Fortunately for me, it did, and I was off and running a slow and steady pace in no time. I knew that I wasn't going to make up lost time, so I kept at it, running down onto wooster pike just over an hour after I started my run. As soon as I reached the marker for mile nineteen it started to rain. I pulled my phone out long enough to text The Boy that I was almost to the exchange point and he needed to be ready, and then I started to book it into Linwood and to the third and final exchange.

As soon as I saw the signs pointing toward the exchange point, I started getting ready for the hand off. I was shocked that I was almost done - it seemed like I had just started my run! The rain wasn't steady yet, but was about to be. I pulled off and reset the Garmin for The Boy to use, and readied myself with the timing chip in hand, ready to be passed off. Eventually the corrals came into view and the moment I saw The Boy I had to resist the urge to sprint! I was so happy to see him and so excited to be able to send him off for leg four. Our exchange was smooth and fast, and soon, I was on the bus to the finish line, eagerly awaiting updates from The Boy while I watched the rain fall steadily outside.

Getting back to the finish line was a bit of a challenge, and when The Boy texted that he had made it to mile three, a mere 28 minutes after the exchange, I was worried I would miss him cross the finish line. Fortunately, that was not the case. I made it to the finish with time to spare (though not much). I had enough time to grab some water, my medal, and mylar blanket before setting up in an area where I could see The Boy and get photos of him finishing the race. One hour and seven minutes after he started, and four hours, forty-two minutes after the race start, we were finished, happy, and soaked. We did it! We are still thrilled with our accomplishments and are eagerly refreshing the page at MarathonFoto awaiting our race course photos.

The crazy part? We were both incredibly sore on Monday, and I was done with running  - at least then. Now? We're discussing a half marathon in the fall. We will see!

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The Road to the Relay

A year ago, I ran a half marathon on a humid and hot May day. I struggled to finish in three hours, and didn't come close to making my time goal. Crazily enough, I thought I might like to run the very same half marathon again this year - making training, nutrition, speedwork, and sleep priorities. All of this would be done while planning my wedding, and the race? Twenty days before my wedding. Friends both encouraged me and called me crazy for wanting to set aside twelve weeks for training, complete with long runs, cross-training, and, if possible, speed work.

Internally, though, I was hemming and hawing. Last year I registered for the half marathon in November. Of 2011. For the 2012 race. I was excited, right up until I got achy, came dangerously close to having a stress fracture, and got sick enough to have to miss a full week of training. I was waiting to register for the half marathon, until a friend said she'd run it with me. Then, a conversation on a trip home from the grocery store happened, and The Boy said he would run in the relay with me, if we could get a team together. In this, an idea and a relay team was born. The Boy, me, and two of my bridesmaids would run the relay in the Flying Pig, and we would do our hardest to finish in under 4:45.

From the get-go 

The Boy, having only run up to 5k distance before, wanted a training plan that would be doable for him. Me, wanting to support him in his efforts, agreed to do the same plan, and we opted for Hal Higdon's novice 15k training plan to get us going. It combined three days of cross-training with three days of running, was balanced, and looked to be the best plan for us. I hadn't run more than a 10k since the RedLegs 10k in June of last year, and I was worried about stamina. After our training fell apart at the end of last year's training cycle, I wanted something I would stay committed to. This plan was easy to commit to, broke down nicely, and kept our evenings full of exercise.

Not surprisingly, we both lost a little weight training. Our eating habits straightened up - more fruits and veggies, fewer sweets, and more water were key to keeping us energized for our daily workouts. We had some struggles in the beginning - our long runs were hard, when previously for me, four and five miles had been easy. Two new pairs of shoes (one for me and one for him) later, we were out and running easily and comfortably.

From the beginning, training was easy. I am a person who commits easily to a goal and will do everything I can healthily do to accomplish my goals. For this, it was to hopefully finish running just under eight miles in about ninety minutes. After running the 7k in September, I knew it was a possibility, but I didn't want to push myself to injury. I knew that the other folks on our team were working hard to accomplish their goals, and being part of a team was an even bigger motivator than I could ever had thought. None of us wanted to be a weak link, and we were all having fun training up to reach our pace goals.

Dealing with Injury

Right up to our eight-week mark, things were looking good. Our training plan was ten weeks long, with the final week ending in the race. Week eight was a seven-miler, and we set out in the late afternoon after my bachelorette party weekend ended, planning to go strong. Four miles in, The Boy started having some severe IT band pain. What started out as a strong and easy run ended in a slow walk home. This wasn't anyone's fault, but we worried that this meant bad things come race day. A week later, we had the same issue when trying to run seven miles again. This time, we stopped at our local running shop and asked for advice. They were able to offer concrete examples for stretches to do, and we decided that all we could do was our best to get The Boy's leg healed enough to run or walk his leg of the race. My IT band was acting up at this point in time, so rather than push it, we both decided to take a good long week off from running.

Making it to race weekend

After a week off from running (well, I decided to run three miles one evening as a way to relax), we both felt strong going into race weekend. Saturday we were up earlier than we might otherwise be, to finish straightening up the house for guests and to be ready to go to the race Expo. As soon as our friends arrived, we headed into downtown and the Duke center to pick up our packets, explore what there was to get at the expo, and figure out our race-day strategy.

At the expo, the energy was incredible. Erica stopped to buy a Boston Strong tee-shirt while The Boy and I explored the Asics booth. I looked for a 13.1 finisher's hat and browsed the other booths. We looked at other races, the corral maps and relay exchange maps, all while discussing the best means of carrying and passing our timing chip - which was the relay baton, so to speak. None of us have ever run a relay before, so this was all new to us. On an impulse, I bought an ArmPocket at one of the expo booths - My iPhone's armband was no longer any good, and we all wanted to carry our phones to keep in touch and to be able to find one another quickly at the end of the race. It was another way to keep track of each other while running, so we could be ready at the relay points.

Saturday night we made our way back home, with plans to meet up by 4:30 the next morning to be on buses on time. After enjoying a pasta and garlic bread dinner, we all headed to bed early, bellies full, adrenaline starting to race, ready to get our run on Sunday morning. My night was pretty sleepless, and when I woke up on Sunday morning after only getting two hours of sleep, I worried if I would be able to finish.

To be continued...

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It's April Fools' Day and I'm not feeling much the Fool. I am sick and home for the day as a result (nothing like a simultaneously stuffed up and runny nose with pounding headache to start the week off, eh?). However, this weekend was a good one: relaxing and busy, without being overwhelming.

Saturday, I ran 5 miles for the first time since last fall, and while it didn't fell great, it wasn't awful. We got it done, and The Boy has a new PDR (and new, BRIGHT NEON YELLOW shoes) to start off the sixth week of relay training. They go nicely with my black, pink, and green shoes, and are too bright to misplace (hopefully). 

I also had the pleasure of spending Saturday evening at Erica's with several friends for a fun girls' night. We had chips and salsa, mini snickers cheesecakes, gluten-free cookies, and margaritas. All were enjoyed while watching Magic Mike. Our fun movie night chased away Erica's husband, who spent the time we giggled over the movie giving their dogs baths and leaving us be.

Sunday was relatively relaxing. I was awakened by a cat who wanted to cuddle, and when I realized I had plenty of time to get dressed and head to church, I did just that, throwing on a blue and white tiered skirt, white tee and jacket. The service was PACKED, which is exactly what I would expect for Easter, and it was a lot of fun. I enjoyed getting an opportunity to catch up with my small group leader at the start of service and sang my heart out. The message in the sermon left me uplifted, and by the time I headed home, it was with a happy heart, ready to take on the rest of the day.

Sunday afternoon, rather than stay in, The Boy and I decided we would take a trip outdoors to enjoy the beautiful warm, spring-like (FINALLY) weather we had going on. We took a trek into downtown and Fountain Square to get some Graeter's ice cream and to see if the Budweiser Clydesdales were still in the area. Sadly, they were no longer at the square, but we did enjoy some amazing ice cream and visuals as we stretched our legs.

Our walk back included a visit to the ballpark, where they were testing out the sound system in preparation for today (Opening Day). We were excited to see all of the improvements made to the ballpark in the off season and are counting the days to our first trip over to the stadium to see the 2013 Reds play (including the new centerfielder, Choo!). 

All in all, it was a good and relaxing weekend, so it was a big bummer to wake up this morning feeling a bit like I'd been taken out by a steamroller. I hope tomorrow things get better. For now, it's time to sip more tea and curl up with another book. 

How was your weekend?

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Equality within the wedding

It's no surprise by now, I am sure, that I am a feminist at heart. If you could see the stacks upon stacks of books I have checked out from that section at the library over the past month and a half, you would be surprised (hint: I have about checked out all that my home library has to offer, and may have to start going into downtown for more). Equality is important to me, even as I think about how to divide chores equally but in a way that ensures neither of us is having to do our least favorite tasks all the time.

After I put up my post on Friday, a friend of mine, knowing that I think a lot about equality in general as well as in my relationship, asked about my wedding ceremony and the symbolism that appears in many traditional ceremonies. I will admit, the questions she posed made me stop and think, because it included a few things I hadn't considered, such as walking to my fiance down an aisle, but at the same time, it addressed something I have been working on since we started thinking about our ceremony.

Without giving away too much about our ceremony (we want to keep it a surprise for our guests), I wanted to talk a little bit about what we have going on in the ceremony to make it a bit more equal, especially since it's all but finished at this point in time. I had a lot of fun assembling our wedding ceremony using ideas from weddings both traditional and indie, and worked hard with The Boy to put together a ceremony that truly represented us. This included making it interfaith but secular, and ensuring that we put our own spin on much of the traditional symbolism.

What I mean by traditional symbolism has to do with giving me away, as well as how I meet my fiance at the end of the aisle. You would think that in anticipation of an equal partnership that we would be walking down the aisle together, but we are not. I wanted to give us both a breather before we started our life together as a married couple, so I will be meeting him at the top of the aisle. I know that even though we will be doing a first look, I will be nervous and having a few minutes apart to breathe will (in theory) help calm our nerves and give us both time to reflect on what is to come. I have not been thinking about my wedding since I was small, but I know that since we got engaged, I have been firm on wanting to walk down an aisle. It's become a non-negotiable for me, much like my red shoes.

How I get down the aisle is going to be a little different, though I am noticing it's becoming more and more common based on what I've seen on wedding sites like Style Me Pretty. I am being walked down the aisle by both my mother and father. I know I could have done it alone, but it was another non-negotiable for me. I know that it can symbolize being given away, but for me it's another way to honor my family during my wedding, and another means by which I can calm my nerves before reciting my vows in front of a large group of friends and family!

Of course, once we've reached the top of the aisle, they will not be giving me away. This was something I found myself thinking about more than I anticipated when I started thinking about how our ceremony would look. I decided that I didn't want to be given away at the alter because I didn't want the appearance that I needed approval to marry The Boy. Our decision to get married is one that is supported by our families, yes, but it was our decision. The Boy didn't ask my father for my hand in marriage, and while my parents very much approve of The Boy, I didn't want to ask them to give me away to him. We haven't worked out the exact logistics of it yet, but I think that when we reach the top of the aisle and my groom, my mother will offer him a hug, my father will offer a handshake or a hug, and then they will go take their seats.

Much of this may seem naval-gazy, but it was important to me to think about how I wanted to portray the very start of our marriage - as equals - to our friends and family. I am an independent, indecisive woman, and while many of these choices may look like no-brainers, they took a lot of thought. There is a lot of tradition (or "tradition") surrounding marriage and weddings. We are entering into this union together, vowing to stick through it in thick and thin and to put work into our relationship. What better way to continue to do what we've been doing, and to start our marriage off the way we want, than to turn some tradition on its ear?

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Just a Small Shower

Wehad a very busy weekend. My parents, The Boy's mother, and one of my bridesmaids came in from out of town to my bridal shower! My Maid of Honor was a very gracious host, and Erica helped her with set-up, favors, and games.

We had such a blast at the shower - there was a lot of giggling and it was a small and intimate gathering. Jessica really outdid herself at this one! We had a delicious spread of food, including devilled eggs, bleu cheese and walnut stuffed dates, sliced pears with goat cheese, dried cranberries and almond slivers, red peppers and hummus, pesto toasts with tomatoes, veggie wraps, and delicious cupcakes! I loved the sugar roses on the cupcakes, which were moist and delicious. I was so happy I'd eaten a late breakfast and had room for all of the goodies. I'm pretty sure I had four stuffed dates and countless pear slices - so good!




There were just a few shower games. When Jessica and Erica started planning my shower last year they asked me if there were any games I didn't want at my shower, and the only one I was really dead-set against was making dresses out of toilet paper! It sounds like and looks like a fun game, but it's one that makes me cringe, too. Instead of tissue gowns, we played only two games: how well do you know the groom (and how well does the bride?), along with a game using pictures of me growing up. The goal? To guess how old I was at the time of the photo! We had many laughs over both games. The groom questionnaire included some questions about what his first pet was and what was her name, and how many times a day he toots! Everyone got a handful of questions right with the pictures, but I was surprised at how much older my friends thought I was when I was much younger!


Of course, then there were presents. I was advised that the number of bows I broke foretold the number of children we would have, so I did my best not to break MANY bows. I think I broke three - but I won't say how many of those I WANTED to break, haha! We got a lot of fun gifts and gadgets for our kitchen, and we've already broken several of them in. I'm really excited to try out the cake holder, cat creamer (my friends know me far too well), and the mustache cookies cutters!




After we finished with presents, we made a bow-quet, which was hilarious. Erica is going to keep it safe at her house until the rehearsal. I love that everyone incorporated our wedding colors into their wrappings so the bow-quet is red and white and so pretty! I had never made one before, so it was fun to help with the assembly of this paper-plate and shower-bow "bouquet"

I had such a blast at my shower, and I cannot BELIEVE that our wedding is just around the corner! It feels like we just got engaged. I felt so loved this weekend, and am already looking forward to the next group gathering (movie night!!). I'm baking cookies for that one.

How was your weekend?

Slow and Steady

Our relationship has not followed the normal trajectory. By this I mean, we dated for a very long time compared to our married friends before deciding to get married. We dated for a year before moving across the state and into our first apartment together, and we dated six years before getting engaged.

In that six years, and now almost seven, we have had friends get married and move away. Other friends have gotten married and divorced. A couple of our friends got married and recently ran a half marathon together, and have plans for several other races. Which is all to say: a lot can happen in six (almost seven) years.

During all of this, our relationship was moving a lot more slowly. We took our time getting engaged, even though we’ve both known we were going to get married since after our second year together. When you are as impatient as I am, that is a long time to be pre-engaged, but when I look back on the many times I got impatient, I get just a bit more than a bit embarrassed.

What’s interesting in all of this is that in the six years leading up to our engagement I got impatient and our friends often would ask us when we planned to tie the knot. Our parents, however? Bided their time and never said anything. They all seemed to know we were taking our time and would make it there eventually – wherever “there” might be. For that, we are both incredibly grateful. Less pressure is always a good thing, and getting married is a huge decision to make – not one to make under pressure.

I know there are no certainties, and seven years together doesn’t guarantee anything. I try very hard not to take what I have for granted and to appreciate each day for what it is and as it comes, with all of the adventures any day we have might bring. For now, I am trying to keep looking at the good. To keep looking at the big smile on my fiance’s face when I get home at the end of the day. To look forward to the race we are going to be running in nine weeks with two of our bridesmaids. I appreciate the good for what it is, what it can be, and what it will become.

There’s a lot of counting down happening now. Tonight, after addressing ninety envelopes, I’m working on appreciating it all – the good, the awkward, the struggles, and the challenges. Good is good.

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Weddings, Change, and Finality

I've been in a wedding-heavy mindset this week, so I hope you'll excuse me for two wedding-related posts in a row. I have a lot on the docket for the weekend (in terms of plans) and a lot on schedule for next week (regarding posts) and most of that isn't wedding-related. Which means you'll get somewhat of a respite next week.

Anyway, I've been giving a lot of thought to changes that come after the wedding, and the finality of marriage in terms of relationship status. We are all very quick to define ourselves by our relationships (something Rachel discusses in this post), and after spending six years as a girlfriend, plus an additional year as a fiance (and girlfriend), I find that I also am quick to do that. Over the past almost-seven years, when we go out together with new friends, I am introduced as A's girlfriend, or he is introduced as my boyfriend. We actually call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" in an endearing fashion around the house. Those words have become as much a title as a label. After getting engaged last year, making the switch from "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" to "fiance" was a hard one. We still get called out at work for calling our other half anything other than fiance. We're skirting around that issue now by using the term "future," as in, "future husband" in conversation. 

Marriage as a concept.

As a child, I didn't really dream of my wedding one day. My Barbies lived in an apartment by themselves as roommates, in what my idea of a college dorm was like (oh how wrong I was about that, by the way. My single dorm rooms were very small). Part of that probably was aided by the fact that we had multiple Barbies but only one or two Ken dolls, but mostly it was because as a child I couldn't imagine pairing up like that, at least, not to my memory. I didn't have visions of my wedding or my wedding dress. The only wedding pictures of family that I had seen (even to this day, have seen) are those from my paternal aunt's wedding, which were displayed prominently in my grandparents' house growing up. There is a good reason for this, by the way: my parents eloped. They didn't have a formal wedding ceremony. My mom's parents didn't have pictures fromt heir wedding on display, and neither did my dad's parents, so my idea of a wedding was that it wasn't something that everyone had. 

I also didn't really think of marriage as a concept until somewhere around high school, when I started dating some local boys (we were young, still children, so I think I can say boys and girls here). At that age is when I somewhat cruelly stated I didn't see myself marrying someone from my area, let alone living in the state for the rest of my life. Fortunately, it wasn't to any of the guys I was dating at that time. My grandmother someone sagely told me that you didn't start dating until you were looking for someone to marry, and for a time, I took that to heart. I dated a few guys in high school and college that I couldn't see marrying, and I knew those relationships wouldn't last (and true to form, they didn't). We weren't good fits for a myriad of reasons. 

Marriage is final (so they say)

I feel cynical saying that marriage is final, and adding the parenthetical after, but I know that many folks get married only to get divorced later, whether it's in a few years or many. Relationships take work. People change. We aren't always meant to be. Stuff happens. I understand all of that. To me, though, I am looking at marriage as final. The end. It's a big change. This isn't to say I don't want to get married, I very very much do. The closer we get to our wedding day the more excited I get about it. In a very big way, I am excited to call myself A's wife. It's a title change. 

Marriage also marks the end of an era for two individuals. You cease to date to find the person you will marry, and you begin to grow your relationship with the person you choose to marry. It's a big change. A good change. It's also very final and if you think too hard about it, can be foreboding. No more dating? No more single life? I mean, think about how much time and effort is put into stag and hen parties to celebrate the end of your single days! The final title change gets me. I've been dating for eleven years now. At the ripe young age of twenty-seven that is a good chunk of my life! It is going to be a big transition to go from "girlfriend" to "wife" and married - in just a few minutes!

But it's not the end...

What I mean by "it's not the end" is simple. Not all of us stop changing familial titles once we are married. Not all of us enter into heterosexual marriages, either. A family may have two husbands, two wives, a wife and a husband, or life partners. Many of us will choose to have children, at which point in time we cease being a wife or husband, a boyfriend or girlfriend, and become a parent. Our parents become grandparents. We remain our parents' children, and our children become grandchildren. If we choose not to have children, it's possible we will be come aunts and uncles. If that doesn't happen, we may have other life changes, we may choose not to be wife or husband or partner, and just go by our names. All of that is okay. 

I know, again, this assumes a heterosexual relationship and a privilege that not every one has. It also may assume a relationship in a state where anyone can marry whomever they want without worry. It's a little naive. Not everyone has the right to be legally married to the one they love, and I think that, for lack of a better term, sucks. I think you should be able to marry whomever you love, regardless of sex or gender. I hope one day that it won't be a struggle for anyone to be joined in marriage to the one they love, regardless of where they live. 

Marriage can be exciting. It can be sobering. It is an adventure and a big step. For as long as A and I have been together, I do not foresee any big changes beyond titles for us. We have been together almost seven years. We've lived together six. A few pieces of paper legally binding us together aren't going to change our relationship and feelings for one another. What is going to change is just that: we will be linked legally forever. At least I hope very much so. 

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Decision-Making and Marriage

Decision-Making and Marriage

Oh, decisions. Funny things, those. We make decisions every day - left or right, pass this car or not, coffee or tea (well, if you're me). But I don't think many of us think of these as true decisions. The Big Decisions are the ones we stop and think about, often for a long time, debating the pros and cons if you're a researcher, or just going with your gut after a brief period of thought. That gut decision? Is the one I made about my now-fiance, a good seven years ago. And then the debating decision? Is the one I made about marrying him - a year ago.

But it's not how it sounds, no. When I met A I knew there was something different about him. He was quiet and reserved, but kind. I've said it many times, but I knew I liked him when I found that I was unable to look directly at his face while talking to him. I knew I loved him when he respected my boundaries. And seven years ago, I knew that one day I wanted to marry him - a snap decision made one night when he kissed my bloated, recovering-from-anorexia belly and talked about how one day he could see kissing my belly when there was a baby of ours. That decision was reaffirmed not three hours later that night, when I woke up in excruciating pain from an ear infection and he remained calm as I panicked and whined about my ear being repeatedly stabbed from the inside.

The decision that I wanted to marry him one day was one that may have seemed light, but wasn't. We spent our first six months together an hour apart, seeing each other only on the weekends, and a few times for dinner during the week. Long phone conversations and chats on AIM (remember AIM?) were how we kept in touch, and it was work - not hard work, but work - to maintain that relationship. One that both of us didn't think would last because of the distance, but surprised us by growing in intensity. Our relationship was work when we moved in together a year after starting to date, a mere three hours away from our families. It was work when we decided, upon moving into our second apartment, to paint the whole thing before moving in (and the yellow paint took a week to come out of my hair).

But our decision to stay together, for the long run, wasn't hard work, it was and is fun work. Yes, we have our hard times, our arguments, our conversations that last long after we both should be sleeping, but always, we are enjoying our time together. A year ago in February, a friend of ours got engaged, and I realized my biological clock was screaming at me. I wanted a baby - not right away, but in the near future. I wanted to be married before I had a baby. A month to the day after she announced her engagement, we announced ours, after being secretly engaged for a week. Neither one of us proposed, and random number generator was involved for a while as we worked to set a wedding date that made sense to the both of us.

Months after we got engaged, as we were debating about a (second) venue, I asked A when he realized he wanted to marry me. I told him I knew on that night, but I really knew after we'd lived together a year and been together two. He told me he knew after we'd been together three years and lived together for two years. We decided just a few months shy of our sixth anniversary to get engaged - our pre-engaged period was a long one. At one point in time his mother introduced us as "A and his wife..." and we all laughed at the slip, but most of our friends already considerd us married, even though we didn't have the paperwork to state that we were legally.

Our decision to get married this year, having our wedding four days after our seventh anniversary, was a mutual one. It was one of the biggest decisions we have made together, second only to buying our house at the end of 2011. Now, three months out from our wedding, we are both giddy with excitement at what is going to come after our decision is finalized, the paperwork signed, and when we are legally joined together as one in marriage. This decision is one that will result in several changes, all of which require other decisions to be made, such as changing my last name. It's also a very final decision, at least to me - one without limbo, but with challenges in the years to come. As with many decisions, that is something that I am okay with - because this is a decision I am willing, ready, and able to work for. 

Engagement Picture in this post courtesy of our awesome photographer, Sarah Warda Photography

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Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! Normally, The Boy and I don't celebrate because it falls so close to my birthday. In the past, I have surprised him with cards, a new wallet, or fun trinkets from the store, but nothing major. A few days after Valentine's Day has passed, we've gone out for my birthday, and he has surprised me with a few fun trinkets of my own.

This year, though, Valentine's Day is a bit different. It's special. We aren't going out for dinner tonight, but we are celebrating with a homemade steak dinner, with mashed potatoes and rolls. So many tasty rolls. There may also be brownie and ice cream later. This Valentine's Day is our first (and only) Valentine's Day as an engaged couple. But that's not the only reason it is special.

Today marks 100 days until our wedding. Tomorrow we will no longer be three-digit numbers out from being married and husband and wife. Tomorrow we will be 99 days out from our wedding, just over three months away from walking down the aisle and exchanging our "I do's" (or our I wills). It's exciting and special, and every day we move closer to the wedding it becomes just a bit more real and our anticipation has been growing.

Tonight, we are celebrating Valentine's Day and another milestone met on our path toward getting married. Happy Valentine's Day to you and your loved ones. May it be sweet and special.

Photograph in this post from our engagement session with Sarah Warda Photography. 

Can I call it the best run ever?

The Boy and I are starting to gear up for the Flying Pig Marathon Relay. We have been out running more regularly, working on figuring out what is best to eat before running, and what’s not (hint: sage sausage, not so great). Since it’s been a while since we’ve been running with regularity, we’ve been heading out for shorter trips – around two miles, with focus on getting out, getting moving, and building speed.

Wednesday night we went out for one of our best runs yet. It was only for a two mile short trip, but we were going for speed. The weather was chilly, but not unbearable. We went out and walked for a brief period, but it wasn’t long before we were off and running, discussing our day as we raced through our neighborhood. My legs felt fresh and fast, and I realized that all of the stretching and lifting I have been focusing on at the gym may be helping just a bit.

Eventually, we reached a few hills, and even as we were climbing the hills, we were picking up the pace. I went out on this run with the goal of keeping up with The Boy, who can easily maintain a 9:40 mile with no issues. Before I knew it, we finished our first mile in just over ten minutes, with my Garmin beeping to let us know. By know, we were on a downhill, and still going strong. I was easily keeping up with The Boy, and a half-mile later looked at the Garmin to see that we were easily maintaining a 9:20 mile pace. I felt great, but knew it wasn’t a pace I could continue to maintain.

This became obvious about a quarter mile later when I had to stop and walk briefly to catch my breath, and at this point we were on our way back. The Boy stopped to walk with me, and after about 100 yards of walking, we were off and running again. I wanted to try to get back into that groove we had maintained so well for the first half of our run, and it was easy. My workouts at the gym lately have involved a lot of time on the elliptical, and I have noticed more and more that I am maintaining a higher speed at high resistance on the elliptical, and wanted to bring that effort to the street while running. I knew that our run was almost over, so I pushed myself for our last half mile.

Pushing it that last half mile was amazing. My legs still felt fresh, and I wanted to keep going, but it was time to start our cool down and our trip home. Our second mile was finished in just under ten minutes and I felt great! It was one of our fastest runs yet, and I am still excited about it. I told The Boy as we headed home that my goal for the relay is to get down to a ten-minute mile, which at this point shouldn’t be that difficult if I put the work in. I have a long segment of the race, and it’s full of rolling hills, so I know there is going to be a lot of running, hills, and speedwork between now and then. Coupled with planning a wedding, it may be hard, but I think it will be so worth it.

Have you had an awesome workout lately?

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